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Bad Romance: The Five Least Romantic Vacations

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War Zones

Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, via wikimedia credit user Mond

The Ukranian government recently legalized organized tours of Chernobyl, just in time for the nuclear disaster’s 25th anniversary. For about $200, you and your loved ones can hop a van to reactor 4, and poke around the ruins as the Geiger Counter ticks away, giving the whole thing a 24-style sense of urgency. SoloEast tours leave from Kiev early in the morning, passing through various checkpoints within the “Zone of Estrangement” on the 2-hour ride in, which also features a documentary screening. Feed the fish, tour the ghost town of Pripyat, and indulge in a casual luncheon in Chernobyl, and you’ll still be back in Kiev in time for dinner and a show. Though, you’ll probably have to sign a waiver exempting the tour operator from all responsibility in the event that you later suffer radiation-related health problems, and all that paperwork really sucks the romance right out of the trip.

Cano Cristales, Colombia is an idyllic natural treasure where crystal clear waters cascade over a rainbow of aquatic plants creating a magnificent rainbow effect that dazzles the eye and tantalizes the imagination. But it’s best know for its horrifying past when the territory was overrun with Marxist Guerrillas. Improved security has since led to a drop – though not an elimination – of murders and kidnappings in the area, which does encourage tourism.

From sulfur to shopping, did Lauren dispel your ideas of romance? Know somewhere grosser? Share your anti-Valentine’s day ideas in the comments.

For more romantic and unromantic travel, check out:

By Lauren Herstik for Peter Lauren is a writer whose work comes up in a google search of,,, Downton Abbey, and hot dogs. When she’s not doing that, she’s doing improv with Upright Citizens Brigade, or hiking somewhere with an ocean view and easy access to nearby Korean food.

Feature Image Bigstock, “love stop sign vector illustration”