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Bad Romance: The Five Least Romantic Vacations

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Love & Manure

Want to have a better relationship with your food? Make sure you’ve got a good relationship with your relationship. If your significant other isn’t down to get their hands dirty, a farm work vacation might not be the best romantic retreat. For upwards of $300 per night at some farms, you’ll enjoy rustic accommodations, a complimentary crack of dawn wake up call – assuming the rooster’s on time – and a hands on learning experience about where food comes from! Nothing says love quite like goat’s milk fresh from the udder.

At Stony Creek Farms in Walton, NY, you’ll get a room and fresh eggs for $332 a night. For an additional $35, pick beets and carrots! Just be careful, they’re going to market. Eventually, they hope to offer chicken-butchering sessions where guests can scald, pluck and gut their dinner, so you might want to wait on this one for next year’s Valentine’s Day trip.

Trevin Farms in Vermont charges up to $500 for a two-day cheese-making package that begins with milking goats and hanging cheese, and ends with either a really satisfying wine and cheese happy hour, or a division of assets.

If roughing it domestically sounds tame, invest in a transatlantic plane ticket to work through your vacation. Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) provides food and lodging abroad in exchange for work on the farm. For $30-35, you’ll have access to the network, from which you can choose a location to shovel manure, feed pigs, collect honey (think bees), or make compost. Oh, but you’ll enjoy that fresh lettuce even more after a hard day’s work. So will your girlfriend.