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Bad Romance: The Five Least Romantic Vacations

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Sewage and Snakes and Bugs (Oh my!)

Crunchy fried spiders from Skuon. Image credit:

A visit to Skuon, Cambodia is a surefire deal breaker. Often called “Spiderville” in the native language, the village just under 50 miles from Phnom Penh is known for its local delicacy: fried spiders. The town is chock full of enormous – seriously, gargantuan – black hairy subterranean hoards of spiders, and the locals hunt, fry, and sell them at the market for about US $.30 each.

Paris: the city of light, the city of love. The city where, for $3.00 a day, you and your beloved can take in the beauty and the grandeur of 500 yards of the ancient city’s sewers. Your tour guide will escort you through just a sliver of Paris’ 1300 miles of waste management system, a feat of human achievement to rival those works of art housed above your head. Marvel at the intricate web of pipes connecting Paris’ famed cultural institutions to the river of human excrement rushing just below the ground.

Ilha de Queimada Grande, a lush island paradise just off the coast of Brazil is quiet, remote, relatively untouched. This isn’t necessarily the best choice for a quiet couple’s retreat. The island is home to the Golden Lancehead––all the Golden Lanceheads––a viciously poisonous snake whose venom is so potent it will literally melt the flesh off your bones.

And if that’s not exciting enough, the population density of island’s majority demographic might run to five snakes per square meter.