From Peter Greenberg Worldwide Radio

Did you see the story about the “nose-cone” or the Northwest Airlines plane that got bashed in, in flight?

The 757 took a punch in the nose big time and it was on a flight from Detroit to Tampa.

If you look at the photographs, the original story came out that it was hit by birds. And, do you know this thing happened at 38,000 feet?

There sure aren’t any birds at 38,000 feet.

Looks like it was an interior structural problem, so thankfully, it was able to land without incident.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE STUPID NEWS

In the other world of stupid travel news, US Airways has now dropped in-flight movies to cut costs. Now, even though non-theatrical distribution of movies contributes $25 million or more per studio in annual revenue of the airlines, the airline is saying they’re dropping the in-flight videos because they weigh too much. They’re stopping it because of weight?

Weird, but, not to worry: If you’re flying on US Air, I’ve heard from a very reliable source, they’re going to substitute the in-flight movies for sock puppets and karaoke. That’s right.

And, do you know what song they’re going to be singing? “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones. Well, anyway, when you think about what most in-flight movies are these days, they’re still doing neutered versions of Herbie: the Love Bug, so maybe this is a good thing. It might actually force us to “read” important things on the flight, like airline flight schedules to see who is lying.

OK, there’s not all bad news out there: Virgin America is actually selling tickets even though they’re cutting capacity 10 percent across the board later this year. They’re actually selling tickets between San Diego and San Francisco, $59 bucks each way.

Kennedy to Los Angeles, fares as low as $149 each way. I mean, have they not been to the fuel pump lately? Listen, I’m not going to complain about it. Grab it, while you can!

But, I don’t know how you make money at $149 each way with fuel being what it is. Yet, that’s how those prices are going on Virgin America. And, one little note, you’ve got to buy them by July 16. But, the cool news is, the fares are good through flying on November 19. How about that?

THE BIRDS, REDUX

I have a friend who is terrified—like an Alfred Hitchcock nightmare—of pigeons. But, this next story comes out of the “good news” category for her: Venice, Italy has now banned the feeding of the flocks of pigeons that swarm over St. Mark’s Square and other parts of the city.

Listen to these statistics: City officials say 60,000 pigeons are destroying thousands of statues and architecture with their droppings and are even attacking tourists carrying food.

I’ve got a better idea. Why not, continue to feed the pigeons, but give them birth control? Oh, wait, I forgot, it’s Italy. Well, at least, we’ve got half the battle done.

They’re not going to be feeding them, which means, they’re even going to be angrier pigeons out there. Welcome to Venice. Run.

STANDING IN LINE AND DISCOMBOBULATION

Here’s another fun one. Believe it or not—this is also good news and I’m not making this up—I just got a statistic in from the TSA: Between Friday, May 23 and Monday, July 7, they actually chronicled their on-time summary in terms of how many minutes customers wait in line.

The average peak waiting time was actually only 11 minutes. That’s peak waiting time, but, most people actually waited fewer than 20 minutes. And, some even waited under 10 minutes. So, considering peak waiting times, that’s not bad. Congratulations to the TSA.

However, you’ve got to give hats-off to the folks at Mitchell Field in Milwaukee. I love the sign they have back there when you actually are going through the TSA stuff, and you have to basically redress yourself, and put your shoes back on.

The Mitchell Airport Staff has set up some chairs and a sign, just past one of the security check points. The sign says: The “Recombobulation” Area, as opposed to, discombobulation, which is what happens when you go through the security check point. They have now, the recombobulation area, and actually, people are finding some humor in that. Which is why, I talked about it because guess what? There is humor in that.

A SILVER LINING IN CAPACITY CUTS

Now, remember the so-called alliance between United Airlines and Continental? Because nobody wants to merge with United, they’ll just get in bed with them in terms of coach-sharing. Well, it’s happening again. And, don’t say we didn’t call this first a couple of weeks ago. British Airways and American Airlines are going to do exactly what just happened with Continental and United. And, they’re going to basically put together an alliance on the trans-Atlantic routes.

Now, think about this. BA and American already have so many similar London and New York routes. They can combine the flights and cannot only save money, but they can also now dominate the majority of London-U.S. flights. And, this raises the question, of course: How high are fares going to go?

And, the answer is, well, probably really high, except—there’s a silver lining in all this craziness out there—that is, if you want to fly between September 15 and November 19, and if you want to even use frequent-flier awards, especially if you’re going overseas, there are actual availabilities for you.

This is because airlines can cut capacity left to right in the domestic market here and under deregulation, not lose a thing. But, on foreign routes, there’s something called “bilateral agreements.”

An airline can’t just pull out of a market because it doesn’t get in right away, and it may lose the route. So, they have to keep flying these routes, which means, who’s going to Lyon, France, between September 15 and November 19? Not a whole lot of people. It’s not the summer travel season. This is the same thing for Milan and London, when you have that kind of seat availabilities.

For those of you who are sitting around with your frequent-flier miles, wondering what you’re going to do with them, you know what? London in the fall may be expensive, but at least you get a ticket there. And, the same thing applies to most of Europe during that time of the year.

I mean, that’s the silver lining when you’re talking about capacity cuts. They can cut capacity across the domestic route system. They really have a difficult time cutting capacity overseas, because once you lose the route it is real tough to get it back. That’s why they have bilateral agreements.

From Peter Greenberg Worldwide Radio

Read about Budgeting, TSA Rules and Stupidity.

Check out more from Peter’s Travel Detective Blog.

And don’t miss this great debate about Fake Bombs, Stowaways and the TSA.