It pays to watch your step and your waistline this week to stay free from travel failures. With trouble up in the air and out at sea, vote to give this week’s worst offender our Icarus Award.
Pay for Pounds
If economist Tony Webber has his way, luggage won’t be the only thing getting weighed at the airport. Webber, who was once the Qantas group chief economist and is now a professor and consultant, is suggesting that heavier people should pay more to fly on plane. According to Webber’s calculations, heavier planes increase fuel burn, raising expenses. In the past decades airline fuel costs have increased from heavier passengers as well as increased jet fuel prices. Are fines for fat passengers next?
Too Tall for Comfort
Australia may be fat-phobic, but Canada has a looser policy. According to government regulations, extra girth counts as a disability and airlines are required to provide passengers with an additional seat at no extra charge. However, the same friendly attitude is not extended to the vertically enhanced. Edmonton resident Malcolm Johnson recently saw his discrimination complaint dismissed after Air Canada forced him to pay more to accommodate his 6’7″ frame. Despite a doctor’s note in his defense, Johnson was unable to prove his height was, in fact, a disability. Johnson will be sending an additional $200 for his flights to Paris.
Granny’s Got a Gun
On Wednesday, a 65-year-old woman was passing through the Dallas-Forth Worth International Airport when security identified a .38 caliber rifle in her carry-on luggage. No words as to whether or not the gun was loaded because the woman picked up her bag and hightailed it right out of the security check point. TSA policy is to seize the bag and notify police immediately. Instead, authorities tracked down the woman’s flight, took her off the plane and brought her into custody. The senior sharpshooter is facing a third-degree felony for carrying a gun into a place where weapons are prohibited, a crime that is punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
He Must Be Tripppin’
We have no intention of minimizing the tragedy of the Costa Concordia, but it would be wrong not to recognize Captain Francesco Schettino for his epic failure. Schettino has made a series of missteps, but his statement at hearing this Tuesday is probably the most mind-boggling. Schettino claims that he accidently tripped and fell into a life boat. He told the judge, “I didn’t even have a life jacket because I had given it to one of the passengers. I was trying to get people to get into the boats in an orderly fashion. Suddenly, since the ship was at a 60-70° angle, I tripped and I ended up in one of the boats. That’s how I found myself in the lifeboat.”
Prepare for a Wet Landing
British Airways has issued a public apology to passengers flying from Miami to London last Friday. As they were flying over the Atlantic, passengers heard a recorded voice abruptly announce, “This is an emergency. We will shortly be making an emergency landing on water.” Despite the fact the flight was proceeding on course, panic ensued in the cabin for 30 seconds until the cabin crew told them to ignore the announcement.
Spongebob Saves won last week’s Icarus Award. Check out more nominees in our Icarus Award section. Vote for this week’s worst offender in our poll.
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By Lily J. Kosner for PeterGreenberg.com
Related links: Fox News, CNN, New York Magazine, The Economist
