This week, the popular trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey will make its big-screen debut on Valentine’s Day. To celebrate its release, hotels around the country—and the world—have whipped up some Fifty Shades-themed deals for fans and lovers alike. Spare us the corny card and gas station roses. Rope us into one of these rooms instead.

Hot and Heavy at the Heathman

Portland’s Heathman Hotel (the most important hotel in the story) features the “Charlie Tango No Limits Package” for those looking to relive the fantasy with their friends and loved ones. Perks include appetizers and white wine for six, roses for the ladies, a helicopter tour of the city, limousine transfer to the helipad, and dinner at the hotel. The ongoing package runs for $2,750 and can be added to your hotel stay. A one-night minimum stay is required, and rates range from $175 to $195. For additional information, click here or call (503) 241-4100.

Eden Roc Escape

Ditch the kids for Eden Roc’s “Fifty Shades of Romance” package, which is designed for couples only. After you’ve enjoyed your “Red Room of Pain” welcome cocktail at the lobby bar, get your giddy buns over to the Ocean Tower. You and your flame can enjoy 20 percent off in-room dining over a complimentary bottle of champagne. You will also get a sharply discounted trip to the Eberjey lingerie shop. Speaking of excitement, don’t forget to hang the “Laters, Baby” Do Not Disturb Sign on your door. You won’t be leaving once you crack open the complimentary couples kit. Lovers who do manage to come out from under the covers can enjoy two tickets to the release of Fifty Shades of Grey at Regal Cinemas South Beach. This oceanfront opportunity is available starting January 30, 2015. You can reserve this package from February 13 to 15 and book by visiting the hotel’s website.

Hit it Off at the Hyatt

Looking for something just as sexy but a little more low-key? The “Grey Shades of Olive 8” package starts at a thrifty $214 per night at The Hyatt at Olive 8 in Seattle. Because the story takes place in Seattle, you’re gifted with a self-guided walking tour of the notorious landmarks straight from the pages of the story. Book by February 14, 2015 for stays between February 8 to 16, 2015. You can reserve this overnight package by visiting the following link.

Frisky In Florida

The brand new B Ocean Resort provides its guests with an unforgettable “Fifty Shades of B Package” complete with naughty treasures straight from the story. We don’t mind what you do with your new grey silk tie and sensual love kit. Just be sure to come up for air and indulge in your cheese plate and bottle of Pouilly Fume wine as well. Serious romantics can ‘Steele’ (get it?) their lover away for a helicopter beach tour. The package also includes Mexican fare at the hotel’s restaurant Dos Caminos. Afterward, you can sip on cocktails at the Wreck Bar before retreating into your love nest for the rest of the trip. The package is available February 1 to March 1, 2015, a minimum two-night stay is required, and rates begin at $339 per night. Add-on helicopter tour is available for $185, in addition to a transportation fee. You can book this package by visiting this link or by calling (888) 662-4683.

Salacious In Seattle

The Edgewater Hotel in Seattle, Washington is going all out this Valentines Day. Reserve your “No Grey Area” package, starting at a cool $14,169 per night. Once you’ve pulled up to the hotel and have taken advantage of the complimentary one-night valet, you’ll be given all-day access to one of the most alluring rides on the planet, the Audi R8 Spyder. Not enough? You and your lover get a helicopter tour of Seattle, too. After you’re done exploring the town, indulge your carnal cravings with aphrodisiac appetizers from Six Seven, The Edgewater’s waterfront restaurant. Still not satisfied? You need a drink. Retreat to your Waterfront Premium guestroom and mellow out with your in-room champagne. The Kama Sutra book gifted to you upon arrival has surely burned a hole in your pocket by now. This package is available now through February 28, 2015. For reservations, call (800) 624-0670 or email reservations@edgewaterhotel.com.

Get Busy on a Budget

If your wallet isn’t as heavy as Christian Grey’s, the “Thrifty Shades of Grey” 72-Hour Sale is the answer to your Valentine’s Day dilemma. Hotel Monaco Philadelphia is just as jazzed as you are for the Fifty Shades premiere and is offering 69 percent off rooms. Visit between February 11 and April 16 or risk this deal leaving you in the dust. Reservations for this special begin at 9:00 a.m., Wednesday, February 11 and close Friday, February 13 at midnight. If you miss the sale window, you’ll still get 30 percent off. Use promo code BDSM to book.

Be Bad, Do Good

Forget rose petals and strawberries. If you’re looking to replenish your whip collection, book now at any of the following three San Francisco Personality Hotels. The “50 Shades of Women…Come Again” package is available at Hotel Diva, Kensington Park Hotel, and Hotel Union Square. The package includes a variety of gifts, including the Minna Limon ‘Squeeze as You Please’ Vibrator, Art of Lust Condoms, Feel Me Bondaids, and a pair of handcuffs. You’ll also get a Silky Sash Restraint, Lilly Fringe Whip, Madame’s Mystique Paddle, Les Petits Bon Bon Tickle Me Tickler, and a bottle of Wicket Aqua lubricant. Thankfully, all of these treats come in a discreet black box. In addition, Personality Hotels will donate $10 from every package to the Breast Cancer Emergency Fund. The package, currently open for booking, is a $150 add-on to your room rate. Room rates may vary. For reservations, click here or call (800) 553-1900.

50 Shades of Plaid

International fans, or perhaps those in need of a little international adventure, can check out the “50 Plaids of Wa-Hay” at Nira Caledonia in Edinburgh, Scotland. This package includes two nights in a Jacuzzi Suite, optional champagne bath, aphrodisiac tasting menu, daily Scottish breakfast, and your very own butler. In true Fifty Shades fashion, you’ll get a goodie bag, couples in-suite massage, and romantic turndown service. This package runs for £1,300 with the optional champagne bath for £2,000.

For more Valentine’s Day ideas and information, check out:

• Fifty Shades of Travel: Hotel Packages Inspired By Christian Grey
• Where You Can Go to Chocolate School for Valentine’s Day
• The Most Common Valentine’s Day Mistakes You Won’t Want to Make

By Dominique Joelle for PeterGreenberg.com